"Ok, kids, let's try a nice photo"
Mood:  don't ask
Topic: that sibling thing

So I had some film to use up....

"Now everybody smile!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Come on.  Just face forward and smile nicely."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Can we quit with the bunny ears?  Just smile.  Look sweet."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Oh for crying out loud!  One nice photo, ok?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"All right.  Nevermind.  You two go to your room while Tobey helps  Mommy pour a nice little drink." 

 

What it's like to be the little brother.
Mood:  silly
Topic: that sibling thing

 

The Patience of Hunter
Mood:  cool
Topic: that sibling thing
During our two-hour drive to the Dells, the monotony started to wear on Audrey - who then started to wear on all of us. As Audrey's complaining mounted, Hunter decided to entertain his sister. He may not have known his audience, but his attempt was valiant. This was the conversation that occurred:

Hunter: Audrey, do you want to play riddles?

Audrey: Ok.

Hunter: What number is higher than ten, lower than 13, and the sum of the digits adds up to two?

Audrey: Blank stare. Um...nine?

Hunter: Well, close. But that's LOWER than ten. Try a number that's HIGHER than ten, but lower than 13, and adds up to two?

Audrey: Eight?

Hunter: No, HIGHER than ten.

Audrey: A hundred?

Hunter: That's too high. It needs to be higher than ten but lower than 13.

Audrey: Four thirty?

Hunter: Audrey, that's a time.

Audrey: Oh.

Hunter: The answer is either eleven or twelve.

Audrey: Eleven?

Hunter: CORRECT! Great job!


Sure, Audrey opted to suck her thumb rather than subject herself to another one of those riddles, but Hunter never lost his patience.

Now, when she smacked him in our living room a few minutes ago...

Two Brothers
Mood:  crushed out
Topic: that sibling thing


There is something special about the bond between Hunter and Tobey. On the days when we pick Hunter up at school, Tobey will walk hand-in-hand with Hunter down the halls, eliciting smiles from teachers and passers-by. Hunter practically drips with nurture. Tobey beams the smile of a baby brother, looking up to his hero. God bless their brotherly hearts.

Oh Yeah?
Mood:  d'oh
Topic: that sibling thing
The sibling rivalry has been on a roll lately in Chez Westcott. The tattling, the hitting, the yelling...is so last week. We've hit new highs - make that lows - in the struggle for dominance between Hunter and Audrey. I can't tell who's winning the war, but here are some well-fought battles.

It started...well, it started when Audrey was in the womb, with the "On Top of Spaghetti" serenade. But let's skip ahead to January 2006. And at this point I'm not sure where it started, but you can bet that each says the other started it.

We have the episode where Audrey beaned Hunter in the head with a DVD case (a rental DVD case, even). Her aim was fantastic, as was her force.

We have Saturday morning under the blanket-covered folding table (a.k.a "the castle"), when Hunter declared himself High King...and proceeded to be the bossiest tyrant known to civilization. Which ended in a wallop from Princess Audrey, and a sudden defect from the throne. ("I'm not playing!")

We have the "fencing match" with stuffed snake "swords" that turned into a smacking match. (Jason and I, horrible referrees that we are, were in the corners LAUGHING OUR ASSES OFF.)

Then there's Hunter, whispering in his sister's ear at bedtime, telling her that we're meeting Grandma at The Great Wolf Lodge the next day...which was a lie. And you have to admit, a very well-crafted one. (Waterpark + Grandma = Audrey was so bummed to learn the truth.) The look on both kids' faces when Audrey asked if we were going told the whole story.

And we have the Sunday School family portrait drawing, in which Audrey left Hunter out of the family.

Dear Readers, you've heard of Peter & Kitty Carruthers? Donny & Marie Osmond? The Jackson family? (You know what, skip that last example.) I think of those lovely sibling duos that resulted in shared glory and an everlasting bond.

And then I hear the "MOMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!" and come back to reality.

Yeah, well, there's something unnatural about those creepy Carruthers anyway.


Note: I just realized that today is Martlin Luther King, Jr Day, a.k.a. "Human Relations Day." Which makes the timing of this post all the more delicious.

Nice List
Mood:  cheeky
Topic: that sibling thing
Audrey has been working hard on getting off Santa's Naughty List. At the top of the list has been getting rid of the crying fits. So far, so good.

But when it comes to brothers, it's like she just can't help herself. The little devil horns just seem to sprout magicially.

For example, yesterday she was playing with a roll of Disney Princess cellophane tape. (Side note: Can you believe they even sell this stuff? Can you believe I bought it?) It was nearing empty, and she was asking permission to finish it off. I said, "Sure, use it on whatever you want." (Headed up the stairs. Caught something out of the corner of my eye. Turned around quickly.) "No, not your brother's mouth!"

With Tobey, Audrey usually takes the form of a bullyish Mother Hen. She picks him up and carries him around...whether he likes it or not. He's her possession, a play thing. Oh, Tobey is catching on. Why do you think he started head-butting?

With Hunter, it's sibling rivalry all the way. She knows exactly which of his buttons to push, and she pushes hard. Hunter pushes Audrey's buttons, too, but it's different: Hunter's interest is in getting Audrey in trouble with parents; Audrey is in it to beat the snot out of Hunter.

The thing is, I tend to side with Audrey. Shame on me, sure. But I like a girl with spunk. It's good for Hunter to buck up, and Tobey...well...someone needs to bring a little reality into his spoiled life, right? That's the magic of a big family: Everyone learns to be resilient.

But we're working on the nice list, as I was saying. And so when Hunter wanted to go see "Zathura" - which is a PG movie about a Jumanji-like game that takes the players into outer space, with evil robots and carnivore aliens - Audrey bucked up and took her four-year-old butt to a scary boy movie.

It was scary. I even cringed. Hunter cheered the whole time - the asteroid shower, the reptilian Zorgons: This was the stuff of his 8-year-old dreams.

After the movie, back at home, I was tucking Hunter and Audrey into bed (the same bed, of course). Hunter got up to head to the bathroom, then paused and turned around. The hallway was dark and spooky, he claimed. I was nursing Tobey and inclined to stay put until baby was done. I told him to just turn on the light and we'll talk to each other across the hall the whole time. No dice. Too scary.

This is the point where Audrey piped up, "I'll go with you." And she took her big brother's hand, and together they headed into the scary dark, her peepy voice crooning, "See, Hunter, everything is all right."

Everything sure is. Santa saw it, Sweetie.

A Face Only A Brother Could Love
Mood:  crushed out
Topic: that sibling thing
As mentioned at the end of yesterday's blog, Audrey threw up on the school bus yesterday. She was seated by Hunter.

Hunter's account of the story is, "I was looking out the window, and then I looked at Audrey. I thought, wow, she looks really messy. Then I knew she was throwing up, and I was like, Oh great."

Hunter got the bus driver's attention, got the puke bucket for Audrey, and coached her all the way to school. He took Audrey to the school nurse's office. And he took all this in stride.

This is no ordinary love. This is brotherly love.

On any given day at our house, you could hear a conversation just like this one:

Hunter: "Audrey, don't!"
Audrey: "But you have to!"
Hunter: "No I don't!"
Audrey: "Hunter." (Audrey's hands go on her hips.) "You are not doing it like I said." (Audrey smacks Hunter.)
Hunter: "MO-OM!"

Or...

Audrey: "Hunter, stop it!"
Hunter: "But you have to!"
Audrey: "I'll do it myself!"
Hunter: "You're ruining everything!"
Audrey: (smack)
Hunter: "MO-OM!"

Ah, they love each other. And they disguise it so well.

But take a closer look at those dialogues. The love is there (look REALLY hard). Do you see the familiarity, the comfort of knowing which role to fill? Do you see the protectiveness and the coaching? Do you see the 70-year-old couple who have been bickering for 48 years of marriage?

At night, they sleep in the same bed, religiously. Granted, sometimes that's my bed. But it doesn't matter whose room they are in, as long as they are together.

When one gets a special treat, or grabs a snack out of the cupboard, they instinctively remember the other.

When one falls, the other helps him/her up.

As a mom, I can't compete with this, and I know it. For one thing, Hunter and Audrey have a bond that comes from sharing a common enemy: parents. But I also understand that they are on the same plane, while I am on an entirely different one. They come from the same generation. They are made of the same genetic stuff. They share secrets that I don't know (and that's probably for the better). They finish each other's thoughts.

Not all sibling relationships go this well, I realize. In fact, when I was pregnant with Tobey, I looked at Hunter and Audrey, then down at my bulging belly and thought...sorry, kid. Three's a crowd. I didn't see how he was ever going to crack their code.

And then one day, one really nasty-Audrey day, Hunter's eyes lit up, and he said, "Mom. Audrey's going to have to be a big sister. Everything she does to me is going to be done to her someday." Yes, Hunter smiled a deep, knowing smile at this revelation.

And so we have the three muskateers. Hunter and Audrey are as taken with our little baby as I am. I often use the term "aggressive love," because Tobey's going to have the stuffin' loved out of him by those two whether he likes it or not. The first time Tobey bit me while nursing, and I instinctively pulled him off with a jolt, Audrey came over with her hands on her hips and said, "Mom. He's just a baby." My lips curled in a secret smile. You go, sis.

I'm cautious, because I know that as they grow up this could change. They could fight The Big Fight that changes everything, or they could simply grow apart. They would have to uproot a pretty deep-rooted love to do that, though.

I take comfort in imagining them, 10 years from now, trying to clean up each others' messes Before Mom Finds Out. I imagine them phoning each other from their separate adult homes to share parenting stories. God forbid, I see them picking out my nursing home.

But for now I get to witness first-hand the love of a nurturing older brother, a helpful-in-that-bossy-way middle sister, and an attention-spoiled baby brother. No doubt one day soon there will be three in that bed together.

And this week I get to hear two versions of the same story involving one boy who curbed his hygienic compulsiveness for the sake of one puke-faced little girl.